Taking Chances
by zizza24
Summary: After two mistakes, Kate begins to doubt her future as an agent. But Tony makes it his mission to keep her around, for the team's sake and for his own.
1. Chapter 1

His body ached. He could practically feel the bruises and cuts as he lay as still as possible. He stared up at the ceiling, trying to imagine what the clear, night sky looked like tonight. And then his mind wandered where it shouldn't have. He imagined her body curled into his. He closed his eyes and inhaled, still able to smell her citrus shampoo from her damp hair. He smiled as he remembered the way the ends of her hair would tickle his bare chest as they would lie there in silence. He sighed heavily and opened his eyes, cursing himself silently for those thoughts. He tried to force the image of her sleeping body out of his mind. He hated how she had closed herself off, but there was nothing more he could do to change it. He had finally found a comfortable position and he felt himself falling into a deep sleep when his phone began to ring.

"DiNozzo."

xxxxx

She couldn't sleep. She grabbed her phone and opened it to read the time, the bright light causing her eyes to flutter and water. _2:46 am. _She groaned as she tossed the blankets to the end of the bed. Why had she pushed him away? It was nights like these she was thankful they had grown so close because she knew he was the one person she could call and he would come over, no matter the time. But after the way she had yelled at him yesterday, she wasn't sure he would ever speak to her outside of work again, and she was beginning to think even conversations at work were a stretch. And as she raised her phone to her face again and scrolled through her contacts, landing on his name, she still wasn't quite confident that he would answer.

xxxxx

"_Tony, that wasn't necessary."_

_Tony ran to catch up as Kate stormed through the parking lot for her car. He grabbed her arm as she reached for the door handle. "Kate, can we have a civilized conversation just once?" He tried not to raise his voice. He wanted to be civil with her; he really did, because in that moment he knew she was fragile. _

_She whipped around, their faces merely inches from one another. "Tony, I don't want to fight. Every time we try to talk, we fight. And I cannot handle that right now. I am going home to take a long, hot bath and then fall asleep to the silence of my apartment. We can talk in the morning." _

_And with that, Tony dropped her arm and she entered the car, leaving Tony alone in the parking lot just as rain began to fall. And he stood there, watching her car pull away, the rain growing heavier by the minute. _

xxxxx

He rubbed at his eyes again as he pressed the button for the third floor. He glanced at his phone, not really sure what he was looking for. The entire drive over had been a blur, probably because it was three in the morning and he was still half asleep. As the elevator dinged, he stepped off and walked down the hallway he was very familiar with. He stood in front of her door and knocked lightly as a teenage couple dragged past, laughing loudly. He turned back to the door as it opened, Kate standing in front of him.

"Hi."

Kate sighed as she moved to let Tony into the apartment. "I'm sorry for calling so late."

Tony smiled. "It's okay, I couldn't sleep anyways."

"That'd be easier to believe if there weren't drool marks on your face," Kate replied with a smile on her face.

"Is everything alright?" Tony asked.

Kate smiled and said, "Everything is fine." But Tony knew better.

"Kate, you can talk to me."

"But that's just it. I don't know what to talk about because I don't know how I feel. I don't know what I want in life. I put on this façade every day for work, but the truth is, I don't think I belong there."

But Tony put his finger on Kate's lips. "Stop it. You are an agent. This job isn't easy. I've been an agent for four years and I still go home questioning myself. But Kate, for other people to believe in you, you have to believe in yourself first."

xxxxx

"_I screwed up, Tony."_

_Kate was sitting in the dark, in an empty chair in the autopsy room. As Tony stood by the door, he could see Kate in the small amount of light that was shining, her head leaned back against the wall and her eyes closed. "Kate, you made one mistake. It's not a big deal."_

_He heard her scoff as he slowly moved closer, spotting an open seat. "We could have died."_

"_But the point is that we are still breathing now. You can't dwell on the past, Kate. In this job, you have to forget. It's the only solution. If me or Gibbs or Ducky ever dwelled on a decision we made on a past case, we'd all be sitting at home with beards and coffee stains on our teeth," Tony said. "Making mistakes is part of learning how to be a special agent." Instead of taking the empty chair, Tony stood in front of Kate, extending his hand to her. _

"_What?" she asked. _

_He smiled, even though she couldn't see it. "Stay with me for the night."_


	2. Chapter 2

Kate wiped at the tears that were falling. "You don't have to be so nice."

"Well, it's not a daily occurrence, so accept it."

"My point is that I don't want you to give me special treatment," Kate said.

Tony leaned closer to her, his voice low. "But you deserve it. And don't even fight me on it." And then he pressed his lips to her forehead. "You are beautiful."

"Tony-."

"Kate, just listen. I don't expect anything to happen. I don't want to be your boyfriend or your late night booty call. I just want to be your friend." Tony lifted Kate's chin with his finger so they were looking into each other's eyes. "Just let me be your friend, Kate." Then he placed a soft kiss on her lips. It wasn't a deep or passionate kiss, but a kiss of comfort and friendship. He pulled away and pushed a piece of her hair back as she opened her eyes.

"Tony, I think you should go."

xxxxx

He hadn't slept a wink. After Kate told him to leave, he drove back to his own apartment, the drive once again a complete blur. He truly couldn't even recall the walk up the stairs and how he ended up in his own bed. All he could remember was the look on her face.

"_Tony, I think you should go."_

He shouldn't have kissed her. It didn't matter that he had told her it didn't mean anything or that they were only friends. Because they both knew the truth; they knew there was something more. "Dammit," he muttered as he grabbed for his phone on the nightstand, hoping to see her name somewhere. But there was nothing. He sat up and swung his legs off the bed, his toes just barely touching the hardwood floors. He stood up and walked towards the window, overlooking the quiet city. He noticed the slight color showing up just behind the line of buildings in his view, the burnt orange that was starting to surpass the navy blue of the night sky. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to get her off his mind.

But as he opened his eyes again, he heard her voice. _"Tony, I think you should go." _And then the sound of his alarm filled the entire room.

xxxxx

"_This is a really nice place," Kate said as she sat down on the couch, Tony standing in the kitchen pouring two glasses of iced tea. "I always pictured your apartment to look like a smaller version of a frat house."_

_Tony smiled. "Well, you lucked out. My cleaning army came today." He walked back into the living room and handed Kate the glass as she silently stared at her feet. "What's wrong?"_

_She started to answer but then shook her head. "I just can't get tonight out of my head. Why did I freeze?" _

"_Because you were being held at gunpoint."_

"_But that shouldn't matter. I am a special agent. I work for NCIS and used to work for the Secret Service. I've been trained on how to handle things of this matter. I shouldn't be afraid." Tony sat down next to her, letting her explain herself. "I knew what I needed to do. And I also knew that whatever happened to me, I had a team behind me. But instead, I panicked and almost cost us all."She picked her head up and turned to look at Tony. "You could have died because of me today."_

_He placed his hand over hers and she quickly stopped talking. "But I didn't and neither did you. And that is all that matters, Kate. All that matters is that every one of us is still alive."_

xxxxx

The shrill sound coming from Kate's cell phone made her want to scream. As she groaned into her pillow, she felt around the table for her phone, finally finding it and hitting a few buttons before the noise stopped. She groaned again as she rolled over and stared at the ceiling, hoping last night was all a dream. However, as she sat up and realized Tony had never sent his usual 'Good Morning' text, she knew everything had happened.

She swung her feet off her bed to touch the floor, the carpet tickling the tips of her toes. She tilted her head left and then right, trying to crack her neck, hoping that would relax her slightly. As she stood up, her phone started to ring from the table and she almost knocked over her lamp as she jumped for the phone. "Todd."

"Kate, what kind of bagel do you eat?"

Kate was confused as she quickly realized the voice on the other end was Abby. "What?"

She heard Abby laugh. "McGee and I are buying breakfast for the team. What kind of bagel do you want?"

"Uhm, blueberry is fine. Abby, are you going to tell me why you're getting breakfast with McGee?" Kate smiled as she thought about how happy Abby was these days, apparently all thanks to McGee.

Abby laughed again and said, "Sure, if you don't blow me off for lunch today. I'll see you at the office." Then the line went dead and Kate closed the phone, putting it back on the table as she headed for her bathroom to get ready for work.

xxxxx

"DiNozzo!"

Tony looked up from his desk and saw Gibbs, his face red, glaring from his seat at his desk. "Yeah boss."

"I need you to go with Kate and talk to Mrs. Nelson."

Tony looked across the room and saw Kate sitting at her desk, smiling. "Are you sure I can't take Probie?"

Gibbs continued to stare. "Agent McGee is already working for Abby. Now I am not telling you again, get your ass over to talk to Mrs. Nelson." Tony reached down and grabbed his gear and headed for the elevator, Kate following closely behind.

The door shut and Kate turned to look at Tony, who was completely silent. "Tony, are you going to ignore me forever?" He didn't flinch. "Tony, come on. Do you want me to get on my knees and beg?" He stayed silent as Kate leaned over and stopped the elevator, the lights going out around them. "Tony, talk to me."

Her voice was low and more serious than it had been just moments before. "Kate, what the hell happened last night?" This time, Kate stayed silent. "I know I crossed the line but you could have at least talked to me instead of just kicking me out."

"I was scared."

Finally, Tony turned around to face her. "You were scared? Kate, I practically handed my heart over to you. I had no idea what was going to happen. So don't tell me you were scared."

Kate let out a nervous laugh. "Don't do this. Don't pretend you were the only one laying things on the line last night. Because it is not true. Do you think it was easy listening to you say all the right words and making you leave?"

"It certainly seemed like it."

"Tony, what do you think would have happened if I had let you stay? Do you think we would have slept together? Perhaps talked for the rest of the night? Or maybe you would have gone home on your own?"

Tony leaned down so his mouth was near Kate's left ear. "I guess we'll never know," he said as he flipped the switch and the elevator began moving again. Tony leaned back against the wall, arms crossed as they both stood silent until the doors opened.


	3. Chapter 3

"Abby, can I ask you something?"

Abby held her index finger up behind her, furiously typing something as fast as she could manage. As she spun around to face Kate, she had a large smile on her face, and her overly joyous expression caused Kate to smile back. "Shoot. I mean, don't shoot. What was your question?"

"Has Tony talked to you at all lately? I mean, other than discussing work."

Abby leaned against her desk, a slight smirk on her face. "That depends on what he should be talking to me about. Care to share, Kate?"

Kate sighed as she stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out how much she needed to tell Abby. It wasn't that she didn't trust Abby. Hell, she trusted Abby more than she trusted herself sometimes. "Abby if I tell you something, will you promise it will stay between us?" Abby nodded, the smile still on her face. "I think I might be falling for Tony. And I don't know what to do about it."

"Well, have you talked to him about this?"

Kate shrugged. "Kind of, I mean we haven't sat down and talked about it, but last night he came over. I called him because I couldn't sleep. I knew it would be awkward because we had a fight after work yesterday, but I still needed him there. He showed up at around three and we just talked. And when he kissed me, I told him to leave. And I think that was the biggest mistake of my life."

Abby took a seat on the floor of her lab and Kate followed, the two girls leaning against her desk. "Were you scared?"

"Terrified."

Abby smiled and put her arm around Kate, hugging her. "You have no reason to be. Because Tony is never going to hurt you. And besides, if he does hurt you, I can make sure that no one suspects us if he turns up missing." Kate laughed and turned to Abby.

"Abbs, what should I say to him?"

"Kate, you have to tell him how you feel. No more dancing around your feelings. Be straight with him. It works, I promise," Abby said and Kate smiled, recognizing the look in her face. "What?"

Kate raised her eyebrow at Abby, trying to figure out how to phrase her question. "How was breakfast with Tim?"

Abby laughed and stood up, holding her hand out for Kate. "Kate, do not change the subject. But if you must know, Timmy and I had a really good night last night."

"And a good morning after."

Both women turned towards the door and saw Tony leaning against the door frame, a slight smirk on his face. "Probie couldn't help himself in the elevator ride down to autopsy. I wouldn't be surprised if he was telling Palmer all about his little evening with Ms. Sciuto right now."

Abby frowned. "I am going to kill him!"

She stormed out of her lab, leaving Kate alone with Tony. "Did McGee really tell you what happened?"

Tony smiled and shook his head. "He only told me him and Abby went for drinks after work. Nothing more."

"You are terrible, you know that?"

Tony began to walk towards Kate, his voice getting lower as he got closer. "It's all a part of my charm. Look, about earlier," he started but Kate stopped him.

"Do not apologize. I don't deserve it."

"Kate, what are you talking about?"

She shook her head. "I should have let you stay last night. I just, I was scared. I knew what you were saying was true."

"What I said last night, it was for comfort. I knew you were upset and you needed a friend. I just needed to make sure you were okay."

Tony smiled at Kate and she couldn't help but smile back. "Do you have plans for tonight? I was going to invite Abby and McGee over for dinner."

Tony shook his head. "I'd like that. I'll bring the booze." They both laughed as Abby walked back into the lab, a stern look on her face.

"You lied to me." She stood in front of a smiling Tony, Kate standing behind him trying to keep herself from laughing uncontrollably. "McGee never told you anything."

Tony shrugged and grinned, like a kindergartener might do with their parents in the middle of a shopping mall. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied. Can Kate make it up to you? She's making us dinner tonight."

Abby's eyes shifted from Tony to Kate and back as she said, "Okay. Do you need me to bring anything?"

Kate shook her head, still smiling. "Nope, I'll get everything. You just bring your appetite." Then she and Tony left the lab, Abby watching as they shared smiles while waiting for the elevator.

xxxxxx

_Kate was standing in her kitchen, a glass of white wine sitting on the counter in front of her. She ran her fingers through her damp hair, feeling a little better after her steaming hot shower. She skipped the bath, knowing that she would just sit and think the entire time she sat in the bubbles anyways. She glanced at the clock on the wall, sighing when she noticed it was only 11:27. She pondered for a moment, wondering to herself whether or not it was too early to go to bed. _

_Finally, she grabbed her wine glass, her sketch book and a blanket and headed outside onto the balcony. She set the glass and the book down on the little table, just covering up with her blanket and staring up at the night sky. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back and when she finally leaned forward and opened her eyes, tears fell, hot tears that had been begging to fall the minute she returned to the office that evening. _

_As the cool night air met her face, she closed her eyes again, replaying the memories of the day in her mind over and over. She had the chance to take the shot. She had the chance to let her and her team walk out of there with no harm done. Instead, she froze. She lost the strength and got herself and Tony shot at, not to mention McGee knocked to the ground. Gibbs finally took care of it, but not before damage was done. _

_She shivered as she thought about looking at Tony and McGee lying on the ground, both motionless and stunned by what was happening. As the suspect had Gibbs pinned to the wall, Tony managed to get a few shots off, none of them forceful enough to reach Gibbs, but all powerful enough to kill the suspect within seconds. _

_Kate grabbed her pencil and her sketch book and started to draw. She began to sketch a face, but didn't have a specific one in mind. Before she knew it, it was 1:15 and Tony's smiling face was on the paper in front of her. She smiled to herself, impressed with the extreme detail she had managed, considering this was the first ever sketch she had finished without someone or something in front of her. She grabbed her glass, book and blanket and walked back inside, putting the glass in the kitchen before walking over to her desk. She ripped the picture out of the book and placed it in a manila envelope, scripting _Tony _on the front. Then she turned off her desk lamp and headed for bed, ready to start fresh at work._

xxxxxx

Kate searched around her kitchen, looking for her cell phone. As it stopped ringing, she found it sitting underneath a dish towel. She set it back on the counter and returned to her pot of spaghetti sauce when the phone began to ring again. "Hello?" she said as she held the phone between her shoulder and ear, still stirring her sauce.

"Red or white?"

She smiled and said, "Red."

The line went dead and she closed her phone again, and then turned the heat down on the sauce. The noodles were already in a pan in the sink for now, draining out the excess water and the garlic bread was in the oven, giving her apartment a nice garlic smell. She pulled four wine glasses from the cupboard when there was a knock at the door.

"It's open!"

She pulled the salad bowl out of the fridge and placed a pair of tongs in the bowl, mixing the ingredients together. "Geez Kate, are you trying to keep the vampires away?"

"Dinner is almost done, you guys," Kate said as Abby, McGee and Tony walked in. Abby and McGee sat down at the kitchen island on neighboring bar stools as Tony stood in front of Kate, one hand behind his back. "You clean up well."

Tony smiled as he pulled his hand forward, a bouquet of red roses in his hand. "For you, my lady."

"Tony, these are beautiful." She leaned up on her toes and placed a kiss to his cheek, then grabbed the flowers. "Thank you," she said as she searched in her cupboard for a vase. She filled it with water and put the vase in the middle of the kitchen island. "I'm so glad you all came for dinner. I just hope it tastes okay."

Abby smiled as Tony handed her a glass of wine. "Well, it all smells delicious. What did you make anyways?"

Kate replied, "Spaghetti and garlic bread and a raspberry vinaigrette salad. I found the recipe online." She set the salad on the small dining room table just as the apple kitchen timer went off. "Dinner is served," she said with a smile.

They all sat down at the table and exchanged pans and bowls before settling and starting their meals. After they finished eating and Kate had loaded the dishes into her dishwasher, they all walked outside onto the balcony and sat, watching the sun fall behind the city.

"I could never eat again and I would be perfectly okay with that."

They laughed and McGee added, "Kate that was delicious."

She smiled as she sipped her wine. "I'm glad you liked it. I was nervous about the salad."

"Definitely the best part. You'll have to give me the recipe," Abby said and Kate nodded. "You know who would love that salad?"

"Duckie," they all said at the same time.

Then, Abby glanced at her watch. "Oh shoot, Tim and I have to go."

Kate frowned. "What's up?"

"A friend of mine and his band are playing a little show at one of the clubs in town and he wanted me to stop by," she answered. "But next time, I'll cook."

They all laughed and exchanged hugs, and then Abby and McGee left, leaving Kate and Tony outside alone. They sat in silence for a while before Tony spoke first. "You look beautiful tonight."

"Thank you." Kate had been staring at the orange sky for the longest time, but she turned to look at Tony after she felt him staring at her. "What's wrong?"

He opened his mouth to say something but then shook his head. "It's nothing. Do you need more wine?" Kate nodded and Tony got up to walk back inside. He came back out with the bottle and a manila envelope in his hand. "Kate, what's this?"

Kate glanced up at him and noticed the envelope and felt her face go pale. "Uhm, that's nothing. I promise. You can just give me that." But instead Tony dangled it over her head with a smile on his face, a smile that told her he wasn't going to stop anytime soon. "Tony, come on. It's nothing you need to be concerned with."

"Is it a thousand dollars? Tickets to the opera? Are you seeing another Tony?"

Kate couldn't help but laugh. "Fine, go ahead and open it. But I promise, it's not as extravagant as you think it is."

She watched as he opened it as if it was a Christmas present, but the look on his face when he removed the paper was priceless. He stared at the sketch for quite some time before he said anything. "Kate, did you do this?" She nodded. "By yourself?" She nodded again. "With nothing to go off?" She shook her head. "Wow."

"That's all I get?"

He smiled. "This is amazing. Can I keep it?"

She nodded. "Of course. That's why I kept it in an envelope. I was going to give it to you, but I was waiting for the right time."

"How many more of these do you have?"

Kate thought for a minute before asking, "Of you or in general?"

He shrugged. "Either."

She thought for a few more minutes and then replied, "Of you, only a few. Maybe three, four at the most, including that one. But overall, over one hundred. I sketch anything that catches my eye. People mostly, but I have drawn the occasional park or night skyline. I have one that I drew of the White House one night that turned out to be my absolute favorite, until I finished that one." She pointed at the piece of paper as she smiled. "Tony, can I ask you something?"

He nodded.

"Last night when you kissed me, did you really just want us to be friends? Because if you did, that's fine. But if not, I need to know."

"And why is that?" he asked, a small smile creeping onto his face.

She smiled back. "Because I don't want to be just friends. I mean, I know it would be better for us with our jobs and all if we weren't romantically involved, but I want to take the risk. Call me crazy, but I'm tired of living in this protective shell. I'm tired of doing things for others, but not for myself."

Her words were cut short by Tony's lips meeting hers, and she couldn't help but smile. She hated to admit it, but ever since the night before, she had missed his lips on hers. His lips were soft, and there was almost a feeling of sheer comfort in his kiss. There was no force, no indication he wanted anything more than what they had right now. And she liked that.

He pulled away and she was still smiling. "You know Gibbs is probably going to kill us, right?"

She kissed him again before saying, "I'd like to take my chances."


End file.
